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Chapter 2 - Page 20

February 16th, 2015, 7:17 am

Average Rating: 5.00
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Author's Comments:

Reply Advertisement, August 21st, 2017, 10:43 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Terastrasza, February 16th, 2015, 5:35 pm

Which pokemon version are you using? or are you using a hack version?

Reply Liokora, February 17th, 2015, 2:48 am

@Terastrasza: As Ziliath says, since it's not a Nuzlocke, so I'm not using any version for this comic :)

@Ziliath: Hehe all I can say is this story is inspired of Pokemon adventures/anime/kanto versions, but few years later, so Gyms leaders can stay the same as they can have changed ! :D It wont help a lot, but you'll see that on the next pannel ! ^-^
And thanks for corrections !! :)

@Normal Reader Dude: Thanks for your help ! :D I've done the few changes, it should be good now ! :3 I'm glad you like this comic ! I hope you'll also like the next pannels ! ^-^

Reply Ziliath (Guest), February 16th, 2015, 6:20 pm

@Terastraza
i do not think she is using a hack. this is a story of her own making.

............................

Them ruby shoes.... how flashy...Now i'm curious, will this story have the regular gym leaders or a new lot of gym leaders like in "mokepon" (another fan comic) Im curious, but i dun want to spoil it; Gee i cant wait XD

in panel 2, i'd just drop the "Are" its implied already, but the sentence is still technically valid, its just not used a whole lot :) (because its a redundant word in this grammatical usage.)

also you'd put a 'S on the end of veridian.

Reply Normal Reader Dude, February 16th, 2015, 6:40 pm

Recommendations The first speech bubble in the comic has some very broken English

"Is all gyms are" should be changed to "Are all of the Gyms".

Add "the" before "Viridian one".

You may change "Viridian one" to "one in Viridian" if you want to, but that is up to personal preference.

(Also, in the second bubble, "Oh" is how that is spelled, not "Ow")

Anyway, I really like your comic, and I can't wait for the next update! :D

Reply Pantherbrine, February 17th, 2015, 11:47 am

This comic is so good~ In the 3rd panel it's better to say; 'Look over there!'

Reply Liokora, February 20th, 2015, 6:58 am

@Pantherbrine: Updated ! ^-^ Thank you !! :D

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